So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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