im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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