What did we do last night that was yellow?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
