Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
