Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
