I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
