I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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