addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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