If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize