she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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