I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
