Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize