it wasn't lemon gatorade
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
