Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
