You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So. Much. Porn.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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