Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well you can't waste a boner
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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