Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
