I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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