We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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