i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
