Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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