i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i barfeds in our rink
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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