Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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