Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Banned from zoo.
Again?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
