She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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