can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
