the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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