Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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