I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
