sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
