If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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