he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
