Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize