btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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