I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
