if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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