On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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