i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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