Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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