How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A+ Viking dick
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
