My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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