MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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