A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
