if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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