U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
