i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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