I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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