Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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