Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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