Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
