shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
