Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
