yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
