Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
