4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
