Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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