I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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