Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
