Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
did you just send me my own nude
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
