I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
