I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is