i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You don't know the capacity of my vagina