I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances