Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request

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  (908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request http://tfl.nu/jdk4
  Replies (18) Good night (3932) Bad night (916)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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  (608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw
  Replies (10) Good night (4268) Bad night (662)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2

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  (304): alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2 http://tfl.nu/q6v7
  Replies (120) Good night (6641) Bad night (922)
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  (631): View more from New York

  if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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  (631): if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you http://tfl.nu/ij50
  Replies (27) Good night (3359) Bad night (4108)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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  (215): he even offered to make my bed in the morning. http://tfl.nu/d13v
  Replies (37) Good night (8227) Bad night (1124)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3665) Bad night (1469)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

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  (516): Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko. http://tfl.nu/dtru
  Replies (10) Good night (2575) Bad night (1022)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.

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  (336): I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked. http://tfl.nu/3p22
  Replies (12) Good night (2881) Bad night (675)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.

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  (541): She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning. http://tfl.nu/4pom
  Replies (17) Good night (2723) Bad night (917)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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  (303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1
  Replies (4) Good night (1638) Bad night (976)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.

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  (254): That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it. http://tfl.nu/3la0
  Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (613)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila

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  (607): I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila http://tfl.nu/x7nj
  Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (1483)
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  (916): View more from California

  No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.

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  (916): No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street. http://tfl.nu/lc9z
  Replies (6) Good night (1437) Bad night (485)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (566)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong

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  (306): He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong http://tfl.nu/gcyh
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (282)

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