Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.

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  (347): apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road. http://tfl.nu/bhjm
  Replies (56) Good night (956) Bad night (4905)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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  (786): Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic http://tfl.nu/fwzo
  Replies (58) Good night (1118) Bad night (5648)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked

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  (516): Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked http://tfl.nu/j7ko
  Replies (3) Good night (3409) Bad night (903)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?

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  (217): just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom? http://tfl.nu/rbqh
  Replies (20) Good night (6128) Bad night (855)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.

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  (402): if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you. http://tfl.nu/a1uo
  Replies (7) Good night (1320) Bad night (3467)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?

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  (954): Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart? http://tfl.nu/oywi
  Replies (8) Good night (3873) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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  (817): One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night? http://tfl.nu/ookm
  Replies (2) Good night (2375) Bad night (734)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1271) Bad night (2957)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

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  (404): Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish. http://tfl.nu/tpdo
  Replies (15) Good night (1091) Bad night (3848)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You're so thoughtful.

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  (813): There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad. (701): You're so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/53am
  Replies (1) Good night (1406) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.

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  (610): I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life. http://tfl.nu/8k8d
  Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday

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  (316): Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday http://tfl.nu/stim
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (421)
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  (+81): View more from

  I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat

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  (+81): I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat http://tfl.nu/lmi0
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it

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  (514): dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it http://tfl.nu/9328
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.

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  (226): We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship. http://tfl.nu/oapm
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (165)

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