He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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