forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
