i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
